In my monthly stints at The Blog of Funny Names, I think I’ve done just about everything to try to impress the big kids over there. Music. More music. Psychological attention tests. Anthropology. Purple prose. Public service spots. Poetry! Uh, movies? . . .
Yeah, I did just about everything. Everything except actually generate some traffic, that is. Views for my posts over there generally get a modest initial dribble, then invariably settle down into a long drought with sporadic drips.
But that’s about to change, my fine funny name friendz.
With today’s contribution you’re gonna finally see that I’m not just some weird, geeky type induhvidyool.
Oh, no. I’m a playa, see? I’m one bad-acid mojo mopho.
Oh, yeah. I’m gonna generate some hits. And I’m gonna get um right now. And then those views are gonna keep coming. And then more. And more. And one month later they’re still gonna be poppin’ up those little views per hour bars.
And you’re all gonna say, whoooooooaaaaaa! Who exactly is that wild, woozy wizard of words? And how on earth did he do that?
And then I’m gonna set my hat in place, straighten my lapels, adjust my sunglasses, take the toothpick out of my teeth and say, Heed me and behold, O ye collegiate colleagues of mine, for it is no mystery. I did it the only way I know how.