It gets jammed.
Our amazing culinary expert and endearing commentator Liz contributed this latest “About page” joke. Thanks, Liz!
We accept all corny jokes here. For free!
It’s not actually a rule that Liz’s contributions must have food references. However, consider it a statistical near certainty. I should not neglect to mention that Liz also provided the following deadpan annotation: “Hysterical laughing ensues.”
Which I hardly think necessary, since all of you must already, having read that uproarious contribution, have ejected beverage streams and food projectiles through your nose, clutched your sides desperately, gasped hoarsely for air, and–though you might not have literally rolled on the floor–at the very least experienced alarming and unsightly convulsive attacks upon it. In short, there is not need to state the obvious, Liz!
And yet, we are not just about laughs around here, by any means. We also like to indulge our analytical propensities when the need arises, and Liz’s toaster/preserve conjecture is no exception. To whit: would our hypothetical viscuous preserve truly obstruct the ejection mechanism of a toasting apparatus? Contra Liz’s assertion, we propose instead that the preserves in question would not in fact jam the device, though they certainly might lead to a short-circuit which would impede its function, or even render it useless. However, we advise readers not to test either conjecture experimentally.
Though these may seem like nitpicking technical quibbles, we think, quite to the contrary, that it is vitally important to clarify the chain of causation when it comes to hypothetical malfunctions of toasting apparati.
Having gotten that off our chest, we also invite you to pull up a chair, “stick” around, pour yourself a drink, have a “toast,” and enjoy our musical and comic “jam” sessions! We hope they don’t “jar” your senses too badly, but we do hope that something “gels”!
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